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We waited a long time for Marlon. The intricacies of international adoption often collide with international politics and our case was no different. Brazil and Canada were at odds over regulations and process and, with Nancy Cameron and Limiar watching carefully for an opening, we waited and waited for the opportunity to adopt in Brazil. As fate would have it, the opportunity to adopt in Brazil came only a few weeks after we returned from adopting our daughter, Hana, aged 7 months, in Vietnam. What a year it turned out to be!!

We headed to Curitiba in February 2002, nervous, excited and very unsure of what lay ahead. We settled in at the retreat centre at Lar Rogate and waited for Lino to arrive. Limiar's Curitiba's representative was a life saver. He was calm, reassuring, and very knowledgeable. He led us carefully through each of the legal stages and got us ready for the first visit to the social home.

We remember that day so clearly - a day that started with trepidation and that ended with Joy. The judge was superb, a man of compassion, good humour and true concern for the well-being of the children in his charge. His staff shared his commitment to young people and did everything possible to put us at ease. But still....we had not yet met Marlon.

At this point, all we knew about Marlon was a two page report from Lino, a limited amount of personal information, and three photographs. (In one of the curious twists of fate that often occur around adoption, Marlon's pictures at age 5 looked almost exactly like his new dad's photos from the same point in his life. The two are often told that there is no doubt whatsoever that they are father and son!). We knew he was waiting for us at the social home - and could only assume that his level of anticipation and nervousness matched ours.

Lino drove us to the orphanage and we piled out of the car. The social mom had Marlon waiting at the top of the stairs. What a moment it was, ending four years of waiting for us and two years of uncertainty for Marlon. He ran down the stairs to us. We stood a little awkwardly at first - here was our new son! Carin gave him a big hug. Then we all joined in! Marlon leaned over to check out his new sister. We were a family and our life together had started.

The next four weeks passed in a strange combination of boredom, excitement and transition. Before we headed to Brazil, Nancy gave us a short document that outlined the stages we would go through as we adjusted to our son and him to us. The advice was uncannily accurate, and our time unfolded almost precisely as Nancy had suggested. Lino kept us busy - and sane. He helped us adjust to Marlon and vice versa, and proved an adept Portugese teacher for Carin. He helped us organize a visit to the beach and to other sites in the region. More than anything, his gentle manner and understanding helped us see beyond the early days and anticipate a life together with Marlon.

We said goodbye to Lino and Brazil and headed back to Saskatoon, Saskatchewan. It was quite the jump from the warmth and lushness of Curitiba to the cold blast of a prairie winter. The long flight to Toronto and on to Saskatoon provided a symbolic break from our time of introduction and discovery in Curitiba to the beginning of our lives together in Canada. Marlon made the transition with the joy of life and adaptability that is at his core. He loved getting to know his older brothers and sister, grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. Snow thrilled him and he quickly came to love hockey - and he settled in quickly into the Canadian experience. For the rest of the family, it was a time of exciting transitions and challenging personal changes.

Limiar provided us with an opportunity to build a family, with all of the joys, challenges and adaptation that that entails. Marlon was six years old when he joined us. He had to learn a new language, adjust to Canada, fit into a new family, adapt to school and friends, and cope with the transition from his much-loved Brazil. We now had an energetic, eager little boy in our family - and had the challenge of helping him adjust to his new life.

Nancy, Lino and the Limiar family were with us at the beginning and have been with us ever since. We attended our first Limiar Reunion the summer after we got back. It meant so much to us to meet other families who adopted from Brazil - and it was vital for Marlon to connect with other Brazilian children living in North America. For all of us, the Limiar Reunion brought us close to the Limiar family, a network of friends whose experiences with adoption, parenting and life in general have been a source of support, encouragement and inspiration for the Coates-Holroyd family.

Carin Holroyd and Ken Coates adopted Marlon in Brazil.
Ken Coates