Letters

Dr. John Robertson

Warren, Ohio

May 2005

My wife and I started talking about adopting children shortly after we had confirmation that we could not have our own with out great risk to my wife. We went through several stages in our decision. First we talked from our feelings without the benefit of much real information. This was important because we communicated our feelings, fears and desires for adopting a child. After we both knew what was in our heads and our hearts, we started to gather information both about the adoption process and children waiting to be adopted.

The process was long but reasonable. The availability of children was an eye opener. Babies and toddlers are always at a premium and there is both a long waiting list and a considerably more complicated process. In part, this is due to the courts being exceedingly reluctant to terminate the parental rights of babies and children. Anyway once we decided not to limit our thinking to infants and toddlers many more options opened to us.

My wife and my situation was somewhat different because both of us had disabilities. It was exceeding difficult for us to get past that for many people. Even though we were both professional people and I had and still do a good administrative position, it was very difficult to get any discussion beyond our wheelchairs. After countless frustrated disappointments a social worker at one of the agencies took us aside and confidentially suggested that it would be very difficult for us to adopt in the US and that we might want to think about foreign adoption. That was a new thought for us but one we began to look into seriously. The same social worker jotted down a name and phone number and silently gave it to my wife. The name was LIMIAR, Nancy Cameron and a phone number.

From our first contact with Nancy, she never wavered from her positive and confident attitude about our adopting a child. She brought with her an endless supply of photo albums and video tapes for us to review. She had a story to tell about each photo and each image on the screen. The process was a long one and involved much thought and prayer. Through the process Nancy got to know us, our life style, our beliefs and values. I’ve always felt that this was the most important part of what Nancy did for us. She got to know who we were which allowed her to align us with our son.

We first saw our boy as his image flashed across the video screen with that bright smile that would light up his face and our lives forever. Nancy’s voice told us that this skinny little boy’s name was Flavio and gave his age. We began the process of exploring the possibilities of bringing this little boy into our lives. Of course the decision was not only ours, it was Flavio’s also. Through the torturous process we inched closer to realizing our dread of being parents.

All of our dreams were realized that magical moment that our brave little boy came bounding down the passage between the plane and the terminal into my wife’s waiting arms. All of our lives were changed that day forever.

Many people have commented through the years on how wonderful it was that we took this little fragile life out of a life of sure poverty and nurtured him body, mind and spirit. But, I’m quick to give them the proper perspective. Our decision to adopt was not motivated by anything but our desire to be parents and to have children in our lives.

The fact that through that selfish motivation we complete changed the course of a child’s life from a life of want and hardship with no possibilities to a life full of endless possibility was part of the deal.