Letters

Dear Friends at LIMIAR:

It was almost 9 years ago when our three children were adopted, and especially Stephanie, who is now 13,did not want to go.   They were a bit concerned about returning to Brazil, not knowing how they would react. It soon became obvious, though, that it was an experience that filled them with mainly happiness and their two identities slowly fell into place. The fears they had had about being confronted with a traumatic past slowly turned into an acceptance of who they are.

We had booked rooms at Hotel EZ Aclimazao Plaza in Sao Paulo where we lived nine years ago. Even though many things had changed, we soon recognized both the playground area and the neighbourhood, where we had walked with the children. Next day we visited Limiar, with whom they had had almost no contact then. Limiar had moved to the other end of town, so there wasn't much to recognize, until they saw the files about themselves and the photos from nine years ago. Tia Elceli from Limiar took us out to the first orphanage, FEBEM, where the children had been taken to, when they were first removed from their parents and stayed for approximately 7 months. The children have never talked about it, it has remained a big black hole in their consciousness. The only thing they have mentioned was that Stephanie once orchestrated an escape. We all had this image of an Oliver Twist-like place, so we were surprised to find a beautiful old building in the middle of a park with a huge gate and wall around. This does, however, illustrate, how beautiful surroundings are not necessarily the most important for children, what counts is an iritimate and secure environment- FEBEM had around 400 children, and could hardly be said to provide an intimate environment.   The children simply could not recognize the place. Stephanie said in disbelief  "How could we possibly have escaped from there?" But of course, the big escape may well have stopped before the gate, we have no other information about it. Unfortunately we were not allowed in, as the orphanage had been reappropriated and was being renovated by the Faculty of Medicine. After FEBEM Tia Eleeli took us to visit a functioning orphanage. It was a small and crowded place with children in all age groups. But with a nice and warm atmosphere. There were children at the age of our children, who had stayed many years at the orphanage, and our children were able to identify with the fate of these children.

In the afternoon the two taxi drivers that we had become very good friends with took us through a part of Sao Miguel, the poor part of town, we thought the children had come from. On a positive  note, it is quite obvious to register some economic growth also in the poorer quarters. The following day Saturday 26 April, we visited Tia Silvana, who had been the director of the second orphanage the children had gone to, after their biological parents had renounced their rights to the children. The children had lived there for some 6 months. They were the first children at the orphanage and despite having facilitated the adoption of almost 500 children, Tia Silvana had kept their files and we have stayed in contact over the years. The reunion was very moving. Tia Silvana's husband Tio Nelson was also there and we probably cried a little all of us. The children have so many positive memories from the orphanage 'Lar Emma", that became a turning point in their lives. Silvana and Nelson used to take them to their house in the countryside, and showed us many wonderful pictures from then. Silvana gave us copies of the files that she had kept and took us on a tour all over town. Later in the afternoon, the driver took us to Lar Emma. Lar Emma had closed down about two years earlier, but the premises are still in use as a kindergarten. Fortunately they were painting, so we could go in and look at the place. Simone (11 years old) shed a tear, when she saw the things in the play ground 'They were so much bigger then! ".

The following day we flew to Rio de Janeiro where we have many friends. We spent another 11 days in Rio and on llha Grande where some of our friends have a summer house. The whole atmosphere was so wonderful, and the children enjoyed it very much, obviously being proud of being Brazilian and enjoying not sticking out from other people. We have been stationed in Portuguese-speaking Mozambique in Southern Africa for 2 years as diplomats, among other things to give the children a chance to relearn their original language. But it never caught on. Their main language at the International and American School is English, and they have concentrated their efforts on that .   Nevertheless, during our stay in Brazil the children all of a sudden started saying things in Portuguese, asking how to say this or that, and our theory is that as soon as Brazil was no longer a threat, they all of a sudden became interested in learning the language.

When we came back from llha Grande - which is paradise!!!! - we were very stretched for time, so we didn't make it to meet Tia Emmy. We will, however, not omit to do so next time - for there WILL definitely be a next time. Already in Sao Paulo, Richard (14 years old) asked if it would be possible for him to study in Brazil, when he gets older. He is very interested in computer science and Brazil would be a great place for him to study.

With regard to practical arrangements, we were surprised how easy everything was. We had enquired from Mozambique if the children needed to travel on their old Brazilian passports and had received quite conflicting messages, so finally decided just to travel on our Danish diplomatic passports. When we arrived at the passport control in Sao Paulo we were a bit concerned that this would be a problem. On the contrary, the officer in charge looked at them and smiled and said "Welcome to Brazil, it is so nice to see the children come back and that they are doing so fine!" On the way out, there were, however some questions, but finally they let us out, as the children had entered on their Danish Passports, they could also exit on the same ones.  I wouldn't trust it for the future, though, so it is probably a good idea to renew their old Brazilian passports and bring them along.

It is clear that this trip has meant a world of difference for the children. They have been able to unite their two identities and are now filled with positive feelings about being from Brazil.

We would like to thank all of you again for receiving us so well and making this trip such a memorable experience.

Muitos abracos.

Simone, Stephanie and Richard, Birte Haid, Poul Erik Rasmussen

(who traveled in April / May 2003)